Archive for June 2004
The West, even British Columbia, voted overwhemingly for Conservatives (henceforth known as “Fascists”). Quebec tossed out the Liberals (the “Crooks”) in favour of the nationalist-separatist Bloc Quebecois (the “Traitors”), while Ontario and Atlantic Canada propped up a substantial Liberal minority government, which will have to depend on the support of the New Democratic Party (the “Commies”), who found virtually no support outside heavily left-wing urban areas. The final total, barring recounts or a mistake on the part of yours truly, was: Crooks 135, Fascists 99, Traitors 54, Commies 19, and one independent, who is nominally a Fascist. A majority government requires 155 seats in the House, so the combined Crook-Commie coalition will still fall short. They’ll have to depend on turncoat Traitor and Fascist MPs to pass bills. All of this means, dear voters, that we’ll have to head back to the polls in a very short time, probably next summer. All I can say is that I’m glad I’m taking off for another country in a few months, because my life will be made considerably easier by voting without the irritation of another election campaign.
So: the ruling party steals billions of dollars from the taxpayers, revealing itself to be one of the most corrupt governments in our history, yet still retains a plurality of seats because the largest opposition party tolerates a bunch of wingnuts in its ranks who want to roll back all of our social advances, but that party still cannot break into one of our country’s two crucial provinces because the separatist party is, somehow, still around and worthy of serious consideration, while the socialist party holds the balance of power in the House, but not enough to actually have a confident majority, all because the lowest number of people voted in our country’s history.
Read the whole thing. Better yet, read his entire journal–it’s good.
I’ve picked up the key from my new residence. I walked most of the way over. Queen Street West is very nice at night, I think, nice and busy. Of course, the fact that I could send some long-overdue E-mails from my cell phone as I walked was fun too.
I came back via streetcar. There was an interesting character on board, drinking what looked like scotch out of a flask, talking about how he loved Jesus, asking a non-white woman who came onto the bus if she knew where Osama bin Laden was, and singing the most bizarre ersatz hymns. He had what sounded like the vestiges of an Atlantic Canadian accent; that, or drink had ruined his voice.
It was quite fun to check the news of the federal elections’ outcomes on my cell phone last night at 2 am, damn the cost (2 cents Canadian per page). The Liberals are the largest party, but they’ve lost the majority; not only that, but even in coalition with the NDP (which has incidentally done reasonably well) they won’t command a majority of seats. The Conservative Party has done reasonably well, thanks in large part to the lack of old-stock Tory and Canadian Alliance voters splitting the right-wing vote, and would command a majority of the parliament with the Bloc Québécois; but then, a Tory-Bloc alliance is rather implausible. The Green Party didn’t elect anyone, but they did make a strong showing though I fear that they might be splitting Canada’s left-wing vote. Oh, and there’s one independent.
I didn’t vote in this election, I must admit. I’ve been too busy with sundry things to register, I don’t have a driver’s license so registering would be difficult, and besides, I could qualify for voting in three federal ridings–Hillsborough, Frontenac and the Islands, and Davenport–which all returned Liberals by a large margin. I’d have voted for the Liberals, I admit. Yes, they’re corrupt, but they’re entertainingly so. I disagree strongly with the Tories’ political platforms, I’m skeptical as to the possibilities of the NDP or the Green Party, and, sadly, the Bloc Québécois doesn’t run candidates outside of Québec. Fortunately, when the current coalition government–whatever it will be–collapses by next year, I’ll be able to vote.
This federal election was quite dirty, by Canadian standards, between attack ads, paid hecklers, and bloodchilling claims (of which perhaps the most prominent was NDP leader Jack Layton’s claim that Paul Martin was responsible for the death of Toronto’s homeless). It’s only a matter of time, I suppose, before accusations of babyeating become commonplace (Paul Martin eats conservative babies, Stephen Harper consumes liberal and non-heterosexual babies, Gilles Duceppe sups on Anglo and immigrant babies, Jack Layton dines on rich babies?).
Perhaps Canada’s different parties should unite behind a platform of babyeating? After all, despite the recent sharp decline in Canada’s fertility rate, there’s still hundreds of thousands of Canadian residents who qualify as being underage. We can run a lottery, of sorts. If we want to outsource, then we can eat foreign babies. Perhaps babyeating can become a potent tool to unite all Canadians regardless of their political and ideological leanings.
Or, perhaps I’m just much too cynical.
While I was sitting in a nice park off of Yonge Street, reading my newly acquired copy of Komarr, I got a call from the movers. Originally, my materials were supposed to arrive at my Toronto address tomorrow morning, between 8 and 9.
My inexpensive and personal mover’s schedule is messed up, though, so it’ll come between 2 or 3 tomorrow, which works out better for scheduling save that my landlord will be on call, so I’ll have to go over to my destination tonight at 10 o’clock to pick up the keys so I can let my materials in.
Not a major obstacle. But Still.
I’m back at the Gray Region. I like this store, I think (sorry teridian). It has a nice combination of very cheap Internet access, a good collection of graphic novels, and nice roleplaying books for browsing.
My parents flew back to PEI this morning. Actually, they went to Moncton, where they were met by my sister. It was very good to see them again and spend time with them after more than six months apart.
The experience reminds me, I have to admit, that I may have some sort of anxiety disorder. The past two months, in particular, have been rather worrying and paralyzing, all at the same time. Fortunately, I think I have a referral, sort of, to a psychologist. This state of weeks-long twitchiness is rather enervating.
In happier news, I rather like my cellphone. It’s so incredibly fun to check my livejournal using it, to say nothing of reading news headlines or playing games, and the knowledge that my cell phone is certainly far more powerful than my first computer ever was–a Commodore 64C, incidentally–is oddly empowering.
And finally, I’d like to announce that a planet might possibly have been named after me. It’s a fictional planet, to be sure–from the 2320AD setting–but McDonald, occupying the third orbit out in the AC+17 534-105 planetary system, home to the Eriksson/Wolverine colony jointly maintained by Canada, the Scandinavian Union and the Sung nation-state of Akcheektoon, is a worthy planet:
McDonald, the outermost world in this small system, is a
spectacular gas giant that verges on being a brown dwarf. It emits significantly more
heat than it receives, and boasts a sizable system of moons and captured objects.
This, achieved at the age of 24. I think I’m ahead of schedule. 😉